-In the middle of a heated argument.
-As soon as the elevator door opens as you're getting in or out.
-An interesting way to start a conversation.
-A... unique way to greet strangers,
-Or a way to end any conversation, just saying the Forge Monkey-isms and wandering off.
So, without further delay, I present to you... FORGE MONKEY-ISMS! :D
1. "...-and then the potato says 'Buddhist Monk? That's my wife!!'" (This is best delivered with a slightly Jewish accent and hysterical laughter afterwards)
2. "So then I sais to him- I sais to him this- I sais to him 'If ya wants ta gets a marmoset, ya gots to learn the metric system!... true story."
3. "And that concludes my list of 5,018 reasons why Abraham Lincoln was a time traveler."
4. "Silly Polar bear, that's not a beverage, that's Limburger cheese!" (Courtesy of my sister, Morgan Mahn)
5. "...and to this day, I still cannot look at a kumquat without my eyes crossing."
6. "Ever since I bruised my spleen at the great mime massacre, I can't think of crayons the same way..."
7. "And he had, like, 200 students, and only four of them died. At first I was like 'WHAAAT?', but then I thought, oh, okay, out of 200 that isn't that bad." (A conversation I heard between two ladies in front of me at Target. I would've given my left appendix to hear the rest of that conversation O_o)
8. "Hah hah hah, you silly mongoose, you cannot escape the paper clips!"
9. "Oh, pardon me, (sir or ma'am) do you happen to be one of... THEM?..."
10. *Sing the Pokemon theme song, but halfway through switch to the alphabet*
11. *Sing the start of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, then change to the Alphabet Song, then end it on Bah Bah Black Sheep. They all have the same tune!*
12. "I know your thoughts; I can hear them. Please think more kind words towards your great aunt Matilda, it is imperative to assuring the safety of a future world. But, I have said too much! I must go now!"
13. *whilst clinging to the floors* "Spider monkeys... SPIDER MONKEYS EVERYWHERE!!"
14. "It was that day that I learned just how much pudding a Gorilla could down in one sitting."
15. "After that week at chess camp, I learned just how many ways a ketchup bottle could be used for self defense."
16. "Such misery was not known to the Aztecs for another 400 years, until they discovered the explosive properties of goat milk."
17. "...You remind me of Charlie Chaplin! You have the tentacle-thingies and the gizmo and all the doodads! Oh man, this is great! May I have your autograph?!?"
18. "Psh, our type doesn't speak with outlaws of the time-space continuum." (best said after pushing your way to the front of a long line, then calmly walking away.)
19. "Did you know that Hitler was an avid snow globe collector?"
20. "No, wait! don't tell me! Your name is... Chad? And you wish to donate your rabbit to my noble cause? Thank you Chad, Your sacrifice is greatly appreciated!" (Of course, best delivered if you never let the other person correct or interrupt you. Use any means necessary.)
